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I see you trying to hold it together when your child melts down, yet again. I see you scrolling online after they go to bed to see if there’s something else you should be trying. I see you trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could be doing better. I see your confusion about why the time out didn’t work or why your child just won’t listen. And you’re wondering, why is this so hard? Will it always be like this? What am I doing wrong? I love them so much…but some days, it’s just so damn hard.
My heart holds your heart. I have been exactly where you are and I’ve thought, what’s wrong with them? What's wrong with me? Why can't I get them to just listen or behave? Why isn’t anything I know working? And it led to a lot of self-doubt, confusion, overwhelm, stress, and sometimes, going through the motions, just to get to the end of the day. When I could breathe. And figure out a plan for the next day.
Man was that exhausting.
This is what parents do. We try each day to teach our kids how they should be so they can grow into the people we hope they’ll be. We hold all of their emotions, along with our own, and try to make them happier and safer. We try to change their behavior so that everyone can be less upset and stressed. We think if we can just get our kids to behave, things might be easier and we might be able to enjoy parenting a bit more.
But the truth is, our kids are taking their cues from us.
The truth is, the answer to all of those questions is within us.
And it’s freeing to realize that they don’t need you to fix anything, to have an exact plan for everything, or to be the perfect parent. They just want you to be there. Really there. And hold space for them…all of them. And be able to show them what it looks like to grow, adapt, make mistakes, apologize, collaborate, try again, and be honest.
I believe that when parents are given a safe space to really understand themselves, they can be open to truly understanding their children as they are.
I believe that when parents are given the support to sift through all of the tips, strategies, and checklists, they can begin to listen to their own voice and create their own path forward.
I believe that when parents grow, their children flourish.
I believe that parents can change the world.
Working with me is about discovering what’s underneath your triggers and reactions so you can learn to respond in a way that feels true to you and that deepens your connection with your child. It’s about being open to seeing your children in a curious way. And it’s about understanding why things haven’t been working up to this point and being confident in the unique path you set for yourself and your family.
And it's about knowing there's no perfect way to parent. But there is a way to parent with less guilt, fear, anger, and confusion.
We have an invaluable opportunity to impact our children in amazing ways…and if you’re ready to do the work to grow into the best version of yourself for them…I’m here to support you all the way.
I believe in you.
WIth gratitude,
Kenya